The photo on the left was taken after I returned from a party the other night. I wish I could say I dress like this all the time, but sadly, my footwear usually looks more like the photo on the right. Even when I am dressed in fancy clothes, for some reason I feel obliged to point out to the folks around me that it's only a temporary state.
I'd love to pretend I'm a pulled-together, high heels and lipstick kind of girl. The people who know me only from parties seem to think I am. When I mention how dirty and unkempt I usually look, they laugh politely and give me that "Oh, she's so self-deprecating" look. Of course, that forces me to protest "No, really. I usually have hay in my hair and dirt under my fingernails." As they look at me disbelievingly, I'm forced into ever more graphic details about my usual disheveled state. "REALLY dirty. Poop on my breeches. Smears of mud across my face. Horse hair all over my t-shirt." By the time I get to "Sweat making little trails through the grime caked on my face," their expressions have changed from polite disbelief to outright horror.
As they back away with their polite smiles frozen on their faces, it occurs to me that maybe this is why I don't get invited to more parties.
