In case you haven't noticed, I've been blogging a bit less recently. It started when I was in Las Vegas for the 2009 Dressage World Cup, but I haven't really got back into a rhythm since I got back. Now I have more time to blog, but of course I keep finding excuses not to. Why do we do that? Or is it just me?
I've always envied people who twirl through life with an endless supply of organized efficiency. I, on the other hand, stagger from one thing to another while a little voice in my head tells me I should be doing it differently, faster, better. It's not that I'm not organized. I am. Anal, even. Years as a database programmer have left me with an inordinate affection for labeling, sorting and categorizing. I can't stand to see a bookshelf that's un-alphabetized and I've been known to offer to help people move as long as they let me organize their CDs afterwards. It's a sickness.
So why is it that I've unable to organize my activity as well as I do my stuff? If I'm supposed to be finishing a scrapbook, I'll invariably find some web research that HAS to be done. But if I'm supposed to be doing web research? Well, that scrapbook suddenly looks SO enticing! I usually make my deadlines, but there's always a certain amount of sweat and panic involved.
Maybe I'm just getting more ornery in my old age. I've never liked being told what to do; apparently, this applies even when I'M the one doing the telling. I now have to treat myself like a little kid: "If you finish this project, you can play with that website for an hour." Of course, after a couple of hours on the project, my inner child has a meltdown and screams "I'll play with the website if I want to and YOU CAN'T STOP ME."
Is it just me, or does everyone want to slap their inner child?
Anyway, the point of all this rambling is that I really, really, REALLY will blog more often. I promise. No matter what it takes. Thank goodness there's no law against inner child abuse.
